Insomniac

Since the day you left Insomnia kept me company.

Sometimes it felt like you send her to keep me less lonely.

Oh, Should I feel thankful now, that you thought of my wellbeing.

You once asked me did I love poetry more than you.

And I said poetry but what you didn’t know was that my love, you were my biggest poetry.

And insomnia kept me awake to write beautiful poems which captures our brutally honest memories.

My love for you is as much as my love for poetry.

And Insomnia keeps me awake to cherish all the times we had together.

4 am in the morning Insomnia doesn’t leave me alone just like you did.

It kept me close wrapping its arms around me protecting me like a child.

Its only me. No one else. Don’t you trust me. If you had trusted me you wouldn’t have said no.

You were very good at.

The emotional blackmailing.

You had it in you since your childhood.

Did your father give it you? Did he teach you to do this? Did he ask you to treat every woman you meet the same way he treated your mother and when I think about the endless promises you give me after countless fights we had where you claimed that I am not my father.

Darling I see you as a hypocrite.

And I got attached to it.

Insomnia says I speak less these days and I smiled more.

Now when did she learned to lie so well.

Did you teach her while I was gone? Did you ask her how I was? Insomnia seemed so found of our memories that she never lets me sleep.

She never lets out of our home.

She was very protective of me.

I started to eat less.

Talk less.

Smile less because insomnia said she didn’t like it when I did it.

She asked me to cut my hair.

I cut it short.

Very short.

I stopped combing it.

Don’t bother asking you know why.

I knew this was coming. Insomnia would soon leave me too like everyone else did

I had to leave before she does.

I thought to myself.

Did I seem stupid.

Did I.

But I had no choice.

Insomnia is leaving.

I can’t let her.

It pained but not as much as before.

I could feel the pleasure running through me as I drew the knife close just like how he did when he got angry.

I hope insomnia finds a better company.

I didn’t want her to be alone. She will find right. Off course she will. She’s a nice person. My mind reminded me

It was red. And red. Everywhere. And I was drowning in it. Never to return again. Insomnia I hope you find someone better.

By- Aleena T Sabu