Mirror Mirror on the Wall
A sunny beach, a pina colada and washboard abs. An exclusive designer dress that hugs each contour of her body perfectly. Perfectly shaped brows, and not one highlighted hair out of place. Well dressed people living luxurious lives, all the while looking perfect.
This is what comprises 70% of my Instagram feed. Instagram serves mostly as an escape, a glossy glimpse into the lives of friends and celebrities. While the elusive nature of most Instagram posts is something that can be discussed at length some other day, I want to talk about this fact:
When we’re scrolling through these carefully curated profiles of bloggers, influencers and models, we’re also unconsciously feeding ourselves the message of “I don’t look like that, there’s something wrong with me.”
When we’re constantly told by magazines and movies that you’ll be successful in life only when you look a certain way, when most actors we see in movies and TV shows have the same physique, and when we see that mainstream clothing brands have, until recently, not catered to people who are bigger than a size 14, it shapes our definition of “attractive”. However, it’s not nearly that simple.
Mass media has definitely been a forerunner in this causation, but this message has also eventually trickled down into conversations one has with their family and friends. Casual comments like “You’ve gained some weight, haven’t you?” or “Why don’t you change into something more flattering?” which barely conceal the contempt they are supposed to express, communicate the idea that being thin is something to strive for, and gaining weight is something to be avoided at all costs.
My professor, who’s very passionate about this subject, shared her insights and collectively enlightened us:
“A woman’s body is subject to such scrutiny that an ascribed standard exists for each body part -from the length of her fingers, to the slimness of her waist. Inevitably, no one woman can possibly meet all these standards; and even if she does exist, she’ll be criticised for being too perfect.”
Most research into body image has found that a negative body image is a problem more prevalent in women than men. One research found that even when men had a negative body image, it didn’t impact their overall self esteem. The question naturally arises, why doesn’t the same happen with women? I think the answer lies in socialisation. Girls and boys are socialised significantly differently. While people of all genders can have imperfect skin, it’s usually not expected of men to wear make up to conceal those flaws (not to suggest that that is the sole purpose of wearing makeup). Several such double standards exist which point to the fact that we’re collectively socialised to believe that women are prized for their beauty rather than their ability, and vice versa for men.
However, it’s only fair to point out that for a very long time, body image issues have been treated as an exclusively female problem. While it does affect women more, statistically, it is wrong to say that men don’t have any standards to emulate. Men who don’t meet the broad-shouldered, muscular archetype have been known to struggle with self esteem issues as well.
Problematic role models exacerbate the problem. The Kardashians, who are pop culture moguls, routinely feature in the gossip columns. While some of their traits are commendable (e.g. excellent marketing sense), they haven’t been the best idols for body positivity. Endorsing things like appetite suppressant lollipops, and denying cosmetic work that is very apparent, they embody the message “If you don’t like the way you look, alter it”, which is a dangerous message to send across to impressionable young people and has already culminated in phenomena like the #KylieJennerChallenge which led to horrifying consequences for some.
The point I’m trying to drive home is that left to our own devices, we’re all pretty happy with ourselves as we are – it’s when someone else points out that we don’t match up to certain standards, the insecurities descend upon us. Almost as a rule, we’re way harsher toward ourselves than we are to others. Accepting yourself as you are is definitely not an overnight process, and it takes some people years.
Be it the skin-lightening industry or cosmetic surgery, several industries have been established to exploit people’s insecurities. We’re practically being told over and over again that we’re far from perfect, but it’s only when we are able to reject this message do we realise that it is revolutionary to love ourselves.
Tanya Dutta
